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.In all of these cases, a person could thereforechoose to resist, or choose not to resist.He had alternatives.There washis self on the one hand (persona, ego, centaur, or transpersonal), and hisresistance on the other.But here, at the base of the spectrum, these is no alternative.Therapyon every upper level was the overthrowing of a gross resistance bystrengthening a subtler one.But here there is no subtler resistance.Theindividual no longer has an alternative to resistance, for everything hedoes is resistance.He has chased resistance to the limit of the spectrum,and here it encloses him.And there is a special reason for this, which he begins to intuit.Hisseparate self always seems to be resisting because the sensation of theseparate self and the sensation of resistance are one and the same thing.That inner feeling of being a separate self is nothing but a feeling ofmoving away, resisting, contracting, standing aside, looking away,grasping.When you feel yourself, that s all you feel.This is the reason that everything he tried to do, or tried not to do,was "wrong," was just more resistance and more moving away.Every-thing he did was wrong because he was doing it.His self is resistance,and thus could not stop resistance.At this point, things indeed seem bleak.The individual seemsnothing but a trap set to perpetually snare himself.The dark night of thesoul sets in, and the light of consciousness seems to turn back on itselfand disappear, leaving no trace.All seems lost, and, in a sense, all is.Darkness follows darkness, emptiness leads to emptiness, midnightlingers on.But, as the Zenrin has it:At dusk the cock announces dawn;At midnight, the bright sun.For reasons we will soon explain, at this very point where absolutelyeverything seems wrong, everything spontaneously becomes right.Whenthe individual truly sees that every move he makes is a move away, aresistance, then the entire machination of resistance winds down.Whenhe sees this resistance in every move he makes, then, quite spontaneouslyhe surrenders resistance altogether.And the surrendering of this resis-tance is the opening of unity consciousness, the actualization of no-boundary awareness.He awakens, as if from a long and foggy dream, tofind what he knew all along: he, as a separate self, does not exist.Hisreal self, the All, was never born, will never die.There is onlyConsciousness as Such in all directions, absolute and all-pervading,readiant through and as all conditions, the source and suchness ofeverything that arises moment to moment, utterly prior to this world butnot other than this world.All things are just a ripple in this pond; allarising is a gesture of this one.We have seen, then, that the special conditions of spiritual practiceshow the individual all of his resistances, while simultaenously frustrat-ing them at the very deepest levels.In short, the conditions show us ourwave-jumping, and then make it finally impossible.The turning pointcomes when the person sees that everything he does is nothing but wave-jumping, resisting, moving away from now in search of wetter waves.Spiritual practice, whether a person realizes it in these terms or not,hinges on this primal pivot.For until he sees that absolutely everything he does is resistance, hewill secretly continue to move away, to grasp, to seek, and thus to totallyprevent the discovery.He will move away without realizing he is movingaway.If he doesn t see that all his actions are resistances, he will stillbelieve there is some move he can make to get unity consciousness.Untilhe sees that everything he does is nothing but a moving away, he willsimply continue to move away.He will think he has a choice, an alterna-tive, something to do, some way out.And so he continues to make amove a move which is always away and thus a move that erects abarrier to unity consciousness which was not there to begin with.Thereason he doesn t "get" unity consciousness is because he wants to.But at the very point he sees that everything he does is a resistance, alooking away and moving away, then he has no choice but to surrender.He cannot, however, try to do this, or try not to! We have seen thatdoesn t work at all, for both tries are just more movings-away.Rather, ithappens of itself, spontaneously, when he sees that nothing he can do, ornot do, will work, because unity is always already the case.The veryseeing of the resistance is the dissolution of the resistance, and acknowl-edgment of the prior unity.Once this primal resistance begins to dissolve, one s separate selfdissolves with it.For it is not that you, on the one hand, see your movingaway, on the other.It might start this way, with you as a separate selfseeing the resistance as an activity of yours [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]