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.He slid a hand down into David s jeans. Wait. David pulled away from him. This time I get tohave all the fun.He turned Connor s back to the bed and pushed.Connorflopped down on the mattress and put his hands behind his head.If David wanted to be in control, that was fine by him.Crawlingonto the bed beside him, David tugged up Connor s T-shirt,kissing his belly button and his hips, but he was obviouslyimpatient.He barely had Connor s jeans open before he tuggedthem down.Then he lay sideways across Connor s waist,propped up on one elbow.This was good, since it meant Davidwasn t too far away to touch.Connor reached for him, David sexcited breath on his cock before warmth engulfed it.Connor moved his hands down, one playing with David scurly hair, the other stroking his back.There was so much hewanted to do, but he enjoyed how assertive David was being.Connor closed his eyes and let himself be selfish, whispering awarning just before he came, but David didn t pull his mouthaway. Okay, okay! he said a minute later when it was clearDavid didn t intend to stop. At least give me a break.104 Sorry.Connor pulled David upward and close, holding him sotightly that he worried he might be hurting him, but he couldn thelp it. Promise you ll always stay with me. God, he probablysounded desperate or crazy, but he didn t care.He needed to hearDavid say it. No matter what happens, just stay with me. I will. David made a little noise, as if he wanted to saymore, but then he just squeezed Connor back.As they held each other tight, Connor committed every detailof this moment to memory the dim light in the room, the feelof David s hair tickling his cheek, even the cool drying salivawhere David s mouth had been.He never wanted to forget howgood it felt to be near him, just in case one day he wasn t solucky. I promise, David added, and Connor was glad, because heneeded to hear it once more. This means I m your boyfriend,right?Connor did his best not to chuckle. Nah, I m yourboyfriend.David smiled, his cheek shifting against Connor s shoulder. All right, Connor said. Your turn.Then mine again.Thenyours, mine, yours, mine.David laughed, and they did their best to make this crazyidea a reality.* * * * *When Connor got home that night, a light was on in thekitchen window.He thought his father had left it on again, butonce inside, he found his mother sitting at the table, a can of beernext to the almost-empty glass in her hand. You re up late, Connor said, easing into the seat acrossfrom her. Just enjoying the quiet, his mother said. How was work?105 No work tonight.I was out with a friend.Well, more than afriend.I met somebody. That s nice.His mother considered the back of her hand, then the ring onher finger.He hated it when she did this.She wouldn t ask, inthe same way she didn t enjoy discussing Tracy s girlfriends.Connor told her anyway, because it was part of his life, and hecouldn t talk to Dad or Tommy about such things. I have a boyfriend now.His name is David.She made eye contact again. Does he make you happy?Connor grinned. Yeah. That s important.You deserve to be happy.She became distracted again, and Connor realized it wasn tthe topic making her distant, but something else. Are you all right?She nodded and waved a hand dismissively. I m fine. You can talk to me, Connor said. I m not a kid anymore.She looked him over, as if assessing this truth. No, you renot.It s just Well, I ve met someone too.Connor glanced toward the recliner his father alwaysoccupied and could tell by the tilt of his head that he was asleep. You re having an affair? he whispered. No.Well, one of the heart, maybe, but nothing hashappened.Yet. With who? The new maintenance man at the home. His mother put ahand on her cheek. Isn t that terrible? I could lose my marriageand my job.But he s handsome.And interested.I m sorry.Ishouldn t be telling my own child these things! No, it s fine, Connor said, not sure if it really was. It s just that your father hasn t been much of anything to usfor such a long time, and I get lonely.106Connor could imagine why.What if David started dopingup, just sitting around all day and staring at the TV? How manyyears had his father been like this now? He wanted his mother tohave more, but the idea of his parents divorcing made hisstomach clench.They had so little only each other, really, andhis dad had been great once.Tommy was too young to rememberthat, but Connor still did, and he wasn t ready to give up on him. We should talk to the doctor or maybe find a different one,he said. Talk to Dad too.He needs to be told that he s on theverge of losing us.Just give him one more chance before youtake this further, okay? I mean, you still love him, right?His mother was silent for a moment, which told Connor howlong she had been struggling with this.In the end, she nodded.There was still hope, no matter how small. We can wake him up now, he said. If you want. No! Let him sleep! I ll talk to him.Just promise that you lllet me tell him.Connor nodded. I promise.You re a good mom, you knowthat?She smiled. And you re a good son.Connor said goodnight and kissed her on the forehead beforequietly entering his room.Tommy was asleep, his mouth openand his breathing loud.Connor was glad his mother had confidedin him.He wasn t going to be around forever, and Tommy hadalready gone too long without a father.As he crawled into bed,he tried to imagine what having a normal family again wouldfeel like, picturing a perfect Christmas his mother and fathertoasting each other with champagne glasses, Tommy tearingthrough presents, and David at Connor s side, their fingersintertwined.* * * * *Connor stared at the grill and yawned.Lately he felt like hehad two jobs, one he hated and one he loved.The one he hated107involved hot greasy air, vats of fried oil beeping when the frieswere done, and squawking drive-thru speakers.Connor let thesethings recede into the background as much as he could, thinkingabout his other job [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]