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. The boys won t know what to think, meat and pancakes.I know the juice won t last pastbreakfast.What a treat for them.I still can t believe that the cupboards are full, Dillon said,shaking his head, apparently as awed as the kids were about the abundance of food.Soon, they heard the boys coming down the stairs and into the kitchen.Dillon said,  I bet it wasthe smell of bacon that did it.Soldier - 53 Oh man, do we really get to eat that? Soldier didn t have any trouble identifying the voice. I hope so.How many can you eat, Randy? I bet I can fill you up this morning.Want somejuice? Soldier grinned at Hungry Randy.Tommy came in, rubbing his eyes, and his got bigger at the stack of pancakes on the table withthe growing pile of bacon beside it. Wow, there s juice?Soldier began to get the idea that juice was the true luxury for these guys.He wished he couldtake them out and shop with each one of them.He vowed to talk to each one and find out theirspecial favorites and make sure they got them.Not a big deal, but it would make them feelimportant.Maybe they could have a day for each one.Randy Day, Tommy Day.now that borethinking about.They had a wonderful, filling breakfast.Soldier was amazed at the amount of food that wasdevoured.He couldn t stand thinking about how hungry these guys had been.No more, hevowed.Soldier asked them all to go find something to do so he could talk to Dillon for a bit.He neededto get some ideas about how he could help without stepping on Dillon s toes.First, he wanted to know what needed to be done most to fix up the house.Above all, Soldierwanted to spend some time with Dillon, just to talk and get to know him.There were two sides tothis and he needed to know how to juggle them and make both of them work.They found themselves back on the log with the boys cleaning up and promising to stay inside.Soldier had a hard time not reaching out and pulling Dillon to him.He wanted to do so muchwith this man.Soldier just wanted him, period. We re in sort of a unique situation.I need to know so much.I also find myself wanting so muchfrom you and there is just no way we can do anything.of a personal nature.in the house withthe boys. I hear that. So, can I put something out there to you and see what you think? Sure.Shoot.Soldier wanted Dillon to know he wanted this, but not at the expense of the boys. I have a suiteof rooms at a hotel not far from here.Is there any chance we could get some time together soon.away from the house? I know you leave sometimes.But you never stay away for long.Soldier - 54 I try not to leave them long.Sometimes Daniel comes and stays with them or sends someonefrom the shelter.If it s a really short trip, Tommy watches them, but he s too young to be maderesponsible. I won t take a chance on harm coming to them.But I find myself wanting some private timewith you. The thought had Soldier hard and ready to jump the guy like he d promised hewouldn t do.Dillon faced Soldier. Yes.We can sneak away sometimes.I want to spend time with you, too.We ll find a time.I meant it when I said I missed you.So, what else do you want to know? How much can I do without being too presumptuous? How careful do I have to be? I want tobuy some stuff for the house.beds, table, chairs, washer, dryer.stuff that we need, but I don twant you to think I m taking over. Don t worry about my toes.I m just freaked out about all these changes, Dillon answered. I want to work beside you.I don t want attention brought to the house that could get you introuble, either.How do you handle things like bills and so on? Soldier had really beenwondering about that one. The utilities are kind of paid for by the guys at the shelter and that s where I hear about the boyswho need us most.The shelter is mostly for transients, but sometimes they get, or hear about,boys who need a different kind of home. Dillon spread his arms a little to gesture to the house. Under the radar, so to speak. Soldier used the words Dillon had earlier. Yeah, boys that would just not do well at all, anymore, in the system.There are plenty thatDaniel turns over to the Social Services and it works out fine, but for some of these kids, itwould just do them so much more harm.In some cases, that is what they re running from.Thesystem is great when it works, but sometimes you get bad people who do really bad things.Myboys get hurt and they run.They can t go back. Dillon looked at Soldier, obviously needing hisunderstanding. Are they all from here? I mean, would it be bad for them to be seen? Would they get in trouble,taken away, recognized? Is anyone looking for them? I mean, like Gom s mother? How did hecome to be here? Soldier was really worried about that. You might want to hold onto my hand, because when you hear this, you re going to want to tearsomething apart.If you ve got hold of me, you might be more careful. Soldier could tell thatDillon was sort of playing, but not.Dillon took Soldier s hand and started to talk. His mother was a crackhead.She was wastedmost of the time from when he was little on.I don t know how it lasted so long without someonefinding out. He shuddered and squeezed Soldier s hand.Soldier wasn t sure if it was for hiscomfort, or Dillon s own.Soldier - 55 When he was found, she was dead on the floor in the bathroom.He was sitting on the toilet, tiedto it, with his clothes on.He was wet and dirty.No one knows how long he d been there.It was all Soldier could do not to cry with that vision in his head.Dillon s voice quivered with anger and compassion. He had marks on him from a recent beatingand he was crying, of course with no sound.It was probably the smell that finally broughtsomeone there.I gather it was an awful scene.He ran away from two different foster homesbecause they yelled at him for wetting the bed, but he.he has a hard time going to the toilet. No wonder, Soldier muttered roughly.Dillon flinched, but he went on. He goes, but it s a real test of his bravery every time he walksinto a bathroom.Uh, Soldier, I m going to need that hand.Maybe it wasn t such a good idea.Hey. Dillon put his other hand up and caught a tear that rolled down Soldier s cheek, catchingin the cracks and crevices of his scars. Aw, man.I know.It hurts to even hear it said out loud.He s such a sweet, loving, needy little boy.How could& Soldier stopped him with his mouth.Just put his over Dillon s and kissed him quiet.He couldn tbear to hear any more. Do you know, he finally began to speak quietly,  I never cried.during all the shit I wentthrough.Not once.Not when they told me who all died.the ones I didn t get to [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]