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.On the subject of fashion.Stop the presses!Lacey Smithsonian sFASHION BITESIStyle Emergency: White House BansProvocative Displays of Apparel!Stop the presses! The latest fashion buzz, or anti-fashionbuzz, around the Capital City is that the Provocative Dis-play of Apparel, or PDA, will no longer be tolerated atthe White House.What is a Provocative Display of Ap-parel? In D.C., many everyday fashion crimes qualify asa PDA.And no, by PDA we do not mean Public Displayof Affection.That kind of PDA was banned in Washing-ton long ago.On the White House PDA hit list, according to an of-ficial press release: jeans, sneakers, shorts, miniskirts,T-shirts, tank tops, and flip-flops.(No more flip-flops inthe White House? Dream on, Washington!) Their goal: nomore flashing of bottom cheeks or d�colletage before thedignified portraits of our Founding Fathers.That s right, the National Apparel Propriety Policehave banned America s most popular casual wear fromAmerica s House! In addition to gutting the off-dutywardrobes of most government workers and the jeansand T-shirts of many style-impaired journalists, these newanti-PDA rules are aimed straight at the hearts (and suit-cases) of tourists.Tourists, those indispensable, clueless,shoeless folks who snap photos, smile, wave at the cam-era, spend money at museum gift shops, wander forhours on the Mall in neon T-shirted hordes, and clog thestairways of the Metro at rush hour.We love them and148 Ellen Byerrumwe don t love them.We want their money.Just don t dresslike them and expect to be allowed into the hallowed hallsof the White House anymore.No PDAs allowed.We are all created equal under the White House dresscode, tourist and Washingtonian alike.The White Housedoes not want us to arrive dressed to hang out or flip-flop,to dangle, mangle, tumble, or stumble.No admittance ifyou re dressed to plow the field or mow the lawn, or togo for a swim in the Tidal Basin with the nearest intern.Dress the way you would in your own house? In the WhiteHouse, that s now a Provocative Display of Apparel.It s about respect, the White House press release notes.Respect for yourself, and respect for the highest office inthe land, the Office of the President.Toe the line and notoe cleavage or you won t get past the West Wing gate.But fear not.From what I ve seen recently, Congress isstill a fashion-code free zone.And very nearly a fashion-free zone.Tourists welcome! Reporters on the loose!Beaten and battered blue jeans, free-range flip-flops, andrude, crude political-message T-shirts are all alive andwell and roaming the halls of Congress.So attention Washington tourists! If your ProvocativeDisplay of Apparel makes you persona non grata in theWhite House, go hang out in Congress.There you can becasual where your tax dollars are misappropriated andmisspent.And where the flip-flop is not just casualfootwear, it s a treasured American political art form.Chapter 20Lacey was tapping diligently away at her follow-up on theAshton museum exhibit when she became aware of astrange sound nearby.The sound of giggling.It was comingcloser.Lacey glanced up in the direction of the sound.Felic-ity Pickles and Harlan Wiedemeyer were laughing and coo-ing like hormonal teenagers, bumping their hips togetherlike drunken sailors as they walked.They stopped at Felic-ity s cubicle right across the aisle from Lacey.There was noignoring them.Oh, good.More unlikely lovebirds, Lacey thought.Stellaand Nigel.Brooke and Damon.Felicity and Harlan.Who snext?Love in bloom in the newsroom might be distracting, butshe had to admit the atmosphere was happier now that sheand Felicity were no longer glaring daggers at each other.Lacey helped connect her with Harlan, and while the fash-ion reporter and the food editor were not quite friends, theywere no longer enemies.Felicity was also looking more attractive these days.Being in love agreed with her.Her chestnut-colored hair wasglossy and her milk white skin was clear.The job of food ed-itor was clearly an occupational hazard to her figure, but herwell-padded curves had met their soul mate in chubby littleHarlan Wiedemeyer.Today Felicity wore a shapeless bluesack dress, which did nothing to flatter her figure, but itmatched the color of her eyes.The man with his arm around Felicity was equally round,150 Ellen Byerrumfrom his round head to his round belly.His brown tweed sportsjacket strained across the chest, but it was too long in thesleeves.His khaki slacks were standard reporter wear, maybea little shorter, a little tighter in the thighs [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]