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.Using every caution imaginablein case he had a fit, or perhaps worse, incase he didn t want me to touch him, I wasvery careful not to touch any other part.Ifelt his grip on the railing relax almostinstantly when my fingers slid over his.The fire-hot feel of his skin made mypulse increase and made me dizzy.After awhile, our forearms met aswell, moving just enough so that theymight be touching, too.I felt the anxiety inme go slack and a new sort of calm takeover my body.Maybe he was activatingsome kind of pressure point& but even Iknew I was stretching for explanations onthat one.Other things were getting throughthe filter now, and I liked the way it mademe feel. Did anybody bother you? he askedeventuallyI considered the question carefullybefore answering. Polo s whistling got tome after awhile.At last he smiled. That ain t what Imeant. I know, I confessed. No, no onebothered me.It was like I was invisible.He nodded, pleased with myresponse.The remainder of his tensionevaporated into a sigh. Polo said you um paid off somepeople to leave me alone? He wasn t supposed to do that. Heshook his head.I gnawed my lip.I wasn t sure if Ishould be grateful or appalled. So it strue?Charlie stared out into the nothing ofthe ocean, but I knew the answer.I tried to laugh. And here I thought Iwas blending in so well.He looked back at me and grinneduntil my heart flipped. Not with thoselegs.I pulled my hand away and tried toseem indifferent, but I m still certain hesaw my blush.Mistaking my awkwardness fordispleasure, I could feel him tense upbeside me.I looked back and saw himshuffling his feet again.He had taken astep away from me and was now staringwith a certain intensity at his boots.I hesitated to touch him again lest itcause him further distress, but the urge forthis simple affection and the feel of hisskin unhinged me.I leaned my headagainst his shoulder and closed my eyes.Instantly his body became rigid, though Icould feel his neck craning down to lookon me.I felt like a fool a completeimbecile.I should have just been grateful Iwas alive.Bothering him with my pettyattempts might only irritate him further.But just as the thought came through,he began tousling my hair.To mycomplete amazement he even leanedforward and buried his face in the remainsof my ponytail, slowly removing the hair-tie and letting loose my hair.I curled mytoes and inhaled deeply as I remindedmyself of my name, street address, placeof birth&He took the tie and placed it aroundmy wrist for safekeeping.I thought hewould have surely felt the pulse there,threatening to explode at any second.Whatwas scary wasn t the physical reaction ofmy rapidly inflating and deflating lungs,the heartbeat in my ears, or even thepleasant dizziness that his closeness gaveme.It was the awareness that at this verymoment I would have done anything forthis man ignored all logic and commonsense, and moral decency if he had askedme to.I wasn t aware people werecapable of feeling that way. It s going to be okay, you know. Idon t know who I said that for.He sighed into my hair.I felt himsmile there. That s real easy forsomebody like you to say.I only pulled away enough so that hecould see my face.I didn t quite knowwhat he meant by that, but I had a generalidea and I didn t like it. No, it isn t.His confusion was transparent throughhis furrowed brow. I may not understandthe stress of the criminal life or anything,but I worry about my brother every day,and I know what it s like to watchsomeone you love get eaten away bydisease. I I sighed and leaned back into hisshoulder.I hadn t meant to preach. Justbecause life sucks sometimes doesn tmean you have to be so angry all the time.Life isn t easy for anyone, Charlie.Youjust have to look at things logically, that sall.Stay sensible.He was eager to redeem himself. If Iwas mad, and I ain t saying I was, thenmaybe I couldn t help it. At least you re admitting it, kind of,anyway. I laughed.I pulled away and looked into hiseyes.The shirt he wore brought out theblue. Why are you so mad, Charlie Hays?He hesitated. Sometimes my headgets all mixed up.I start thinkin  bout oldstuff, jail, and the bad things I ve done.He sighed again and I felt his breath on myneck [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]