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. I didn t want to be with a lot of people I didn t know.I didn t want to be with a lot ofpeople, period.In a strange house, at Christmas.I thought I would go looking for. He trailed off,glancing up at her. I don t know what I thought.I don t know why I said I wouldn t come earlier.Well,I do, but it s hard to explain.It s.it s complicated.Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.htmlShe seemed unconcerned. You don t have to explain anything to me, she said.He nodded and went back to eating.Outside, the wind gusted about the corners and across the eaves ofthe old house, making strange, whining sounds.Snow blew past the frost-edged windows as if the stormwere a reel of film spinning out of control.Ross looked at it and felt time and possibility slipping away.When he finished his meal, Josie carried their plates to the sink and brought hot tea.They sipped at thetea in silence, listening to the wind, exchanging quick looks that brushed momentarily and slid away. I never stopped thinking about you, he said finally, setting down the tea and looking at her.She nodded, sipping slowly. It s true.I didn t write or call, and I was sometimes a long way away from here and lost in some verydark places, but I never stopped.He kept his eyes fixed on hers, willing her to believe.She set her cup down, fitting it carefully to thesaucer. John, she said. You re just here for tonight, aren t you? You haven t come back to Hopewell to stay.You don t plan to ask me to marry you or go away with you or wait for you to come back again.Youaren t going to promise me anything beyond the next few hours.He stared at her, taken aback by her directness.He felt the emptiness and solitude begin to return. No, he admitted.She smiled gently. Because I d like to think that the one thing we can count on from each other after allthis time is honesty.I m not asking for anything more.I wouldn t know what to do with it.She leaned forward slightly. I ll take those few hours, John.I ll take them gladly.I would have takenthem anytime during the last fifteen years of my life.I thought about you, too.Every day, I thought aboutyou.I prayed for you to come back.At first, I wanted you to come back forever.Then, just for a fewyears, or a few months, or days, minutes, anything.I couldn t help myself.I can t help myself now.I wantyou so badly, it hurts.She brushed nervously at her tousled hair. So let s not spend time offering each other explanations orexcuses.Let s not make any promises.Let s not even talk anymore.She rose and came around to stand over him, then bent to kiss him on the mouth.She kept her lips onhis, tasting him, exploring gently, her arms coming around his shoulders, her fingers working themselvesdeep into his hair.She kissed him for a long time, and then she pulled him to his feet. I guess you remember I was a bold kind of girl, she whispered, her face only inches from his own, herarms around his neck, and her body pressed against him. I haven t changed.Let s go upstairs.I bet youremember the way.As it turned out, he did.CHAPTER 19Bennett Scott stayed at the Heppler party almost two full hours before making her break, even thoughGenerated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.htmlshe had known before coming what she intended to do.She played with Harper and Little John, to theextent that playing with Little John was possible such a weird little kid and helped a couple ofbutter-wouldn t-melt-in-their-mouths teenage girls supervise the other children in their basement retreat.She visited with the adults a boring, mind-numbing bunch except for Robert Heppler, who was still akick and admired the Christmas decorations.She endured the looks they gave her, the ones that tookin her piercings and tattoos and sometimes the needle tracks on her arms, the ones that pitied her ordismissed her as trash.She ate a plate of food from the buffet and managed to sneak a few of thechicken wings and rolls into her purse in the process, knowing she might not get much else to eat for awhile.She made a point of being seen and looking happy, so that no one, Nest in particular, wouldsuspect what she was about.She hung in there for as long as she could, and much longer than she hadbelieved possible, and then got out of there when no one was looking.She said good-bye to Harper first. Mommy really, really loves you, baby, she said, kneeling in front of the little girl in the darkenedhallway leading from the rec room to the furnace room while the other children played noisily in thebackground. Mommy loves you more than anything in the whole, wide world.Do you believe me?Harper nodded uncertainly, dark eyes intense. Yeth [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]